Frustration: It's NOT FAIR!!!

Over the last couple of weeks in The Shouty-Bark Dog Group on facebook we've been talking about frustration. More than 50 brilliant people joined in with the conversation, and this is what I've learned.

When we talked about people's instinctive emotional response to frustration,

15 people said they got angry

9 people shut down quietly

8 people cry

8 escape the situation

2 became impatient, and there was a smattering of snarkiness and panic.

17 people recognised that their emotional response to frustration is very similar to their dog's emotional response.

Whilst dogs aren't human, putting a human slant on our dog's behaviour can be a helpful way for us to empathise and understand them better. And of course, better understanding leads to more effective adaptations and training protocols.

So what's going on? What is it that leads to frustration?

There are many different frustration flash points.
Some examples are during play; when things don't happen fast enough; when we want something but can't get to it.

What's happening here is that the being (human or dog) that is frustrated has made a prediction error. They've predicted that something will happen, and it hasn't done. The reward that was expected hasn't happened, and we get a dopamine dip.

And when that happens repeatedly we get frustration flash points.

When we have a super fast learner, or a jackpot prize was predicted, it doesn't even need to happen repeatedly - once will do it! And that's frustrating for us, the humans, because this dog is clever, why can't they learn!!

Traditional training is unlikely to help our dogs to overcome these frustration flash points because there's so much emotion, driven by hormones, behind the response.

Once we've got a dog stuck in a frustration flash point loop, we need to make changes and adaptations to get them out of it.

We're looking to create a NEW pattern or habit that changes our dog's predictions around what's going to happen next.

So, if you have a dog that gets frustrated often, try this:

Express your dog's desire in human words, in the first person. "I want..."

Add the frustrating element. "but I can't because..."

Then add the emotional component. "And I feel..."

Now think about what the prediction error was and come up with an adaptation to that situation that would help your dog to make a true prediction next time.

This might sound complicated so let's work through an example.

I want to go and play with that dog, but I can't because I can't get to them, and I feel upset and angry and it's NOT FAIR.

In this case, the prediction error occurred because the dog is on a lead and for whatever reason, it's not appropriate right now to go and play.

A suitable adaptation to the pattern or habit around this frustration flash point might be that when we see an approaching dog in the distance, we tell our dog that there's a dog and we're just going to walk past, or that we're going to make some space. We then engage our dog in a rewarding action game that we've practised lots at home.

Remember, what makes a game rewarding for your individual dog is very much led by your individual dog. It needs to be active and involve movement, otherwise we'll be adding in even more frustration.

Try it and let me know how it goes.

Of course, this isn't going to be the ultimate answer if we're dealing with more than simple frustration, but it's a really great start.!

🐾

Stephie

ps this was the topic in my membership, The Calmer Canines Club, this week. We also dove into canine vs human social norms, emotional attribution and theory of mind, why practicing prediction errors is a really bad idea, and we ran through a few live examples for members of the club.

If you'd like to join in with conversations like this, you can join here for £25pm https://www.calmercanines.co.uk/courses/the-calmer-canines-club-with-stephie