Trust, Choice, and Confidence: Helping Your Dog Make Good Decisions

Dogs, like humans, navigate a world full of choices - where to walk, what to explore, how to interact with others. As caregivers, we often feel the need to control these decisions to keep our dogs safe and well-mannered. But what if, instead of controlling every aspect of their lives, we viewed our relationship with our dogs as a partnership? A partnership where we guide them when necessary but also allow them the freedom to make choices when it’s safe and appropriate.


The Benefits of Shared Decision-Making

Allowing dogs to make decisions builds their confidence and encourages them to engage with the world in a thoughtful way. When dogs are given the time and opportunity to think for themselves, they become better problem solvers, more resilient in the face of uncertainty, and more capable of making good choices in the future. 

A dog who never gets to make decisions can become overly dependent on their caregiver, hesitant in new situations, or even anxious when faced with the unknown. 

On the other hand, a dog who is given too much responsibility without guidance can become stressed, unruly, or even reactive.


When to Step In: The Role of the Human Brain

As humans, we have the advantage of a “wrinklier brain” - a more developed ability to plan, analyse risks, and make informed choices. This means it’s our responsibility to step in when:

  • Safety is at risk – If a dog is about to run into a road, eat something toxic, or engage with another animal in an unsafe manner, it’s time for us to intervene.
  • A decision could lead to long-term negative consequences – For example, if a dog is choosing to bark at every passerby from the window, they are likely reinforcing a habit that could develop into a bigger problem over time.
  • The dog is struggling or overwhelmed – Some decisions require experience and confidence, and if a dog is showing signs of stress or confusion, they may need guidance and reassurance from their human partner.


When to Let the Dog Decide

There are many moments in daily life where dogs can safely make choices for themselves, and doing so enriches their experience. Some examples include:

  • Choosing the walking route – Instead of always dictating where the walk should go, allowing a dog to pick the direction (and having a calm conversation when that direction is not possible) can make the experience more engaging and fulfilling for them.
  • Deciding whether to interact with others – Not every dog wants to greet every human or canine they meet. Respecting a dog’s choice to approach or avoid interactions can help prevent stress and unwanted encounters.
  • Exploring at their own pace – Sniffing and investigating the environment is mentally stimulating and essential for canine well-being. Giving dogs the freedom to explore rather than constantly pulling them along on a tight lead fosters confidence and independence.
  • Choosing a resting spot – Dogs know where they feel most comfortable. Whether they prefer a cosy corner or a sunny patch by the window, allowing them to settle where they feel safe contributes to their well-being.


Finding the Balance

The key to a successful partnership is balance. Dogs thrive when they have the opportunity to make choices within a safe framework. By stepping in when needed and stepping back when appropriate, we empower them to navigate their world with confidence while knowing they can rely on us for support when necessary.

A well-adjusted dog is neither entirely independent nor completely reliant on their caregiver. Instead, they are a thinking, feeling individual who knows they have a say in their own life while also trusting that their human partner will step in when guidance is needed.

Dogs respond well to open and kind communication, both through body language and verbal cues, strengthening the bond between dog and human. By fostering this balance, we create a deeper bond built on mutual respect, understanding, and trust. 

So next time you’re about to jump in with instructions to your dog, consider: is this a moment where I should decide, or is this a moment where I can let my dog take the lead?

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Want to Learn More?

Stephie is a dog professional specialising in trauma-informed behavioural support for shouty-barky dogs, dogs with separation anxiety, and sensitive rescues.

Join her on facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/TheShoutyBarkyDogGroup

And when you're ready for a truly consultative approach to building trust with your sensitive dog, reach out for a chat here:


💚 www.CalmerCanines.co.uk/chat 💚


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